19 October 2023

An Autumn Stroll



My resolve is tested to its limits, when I have to get out of the house on a cold weekend. I am tropical to the core; like a plant that creeps towards sunlight, I seek out the sun, break a happy sweat. I droop in the winter, slithering back into the nest of a comforter, curling up with a novel. But being in the last leg of my stay in Philadelphia, I have sworn against hibernation, promised myself one exploration every week, and have failed more often than not. 





Elfreth Alley  in Old city dates back to 1703. This little street is an outdoor museum with houses and buildings from between 1720 and 1836. William Penn, the Quaker  founder of Philadelphia planned the city as a rectangular gridiron with numbered and lettered streets run perpendicular to each other. Incidentally the state of Pennsylvania, gets its name from Penn, who christened  the colony he carved out of the homeland of many indigenous tribes, after his father, as Penn’s Woods.   As with the best  laid out plans, it had a flaw. Not everyone wanted to be in the grid. People started carving out forays  into Penn’s grid. John Gilbert and Arthur Wells decided to cut a pathway between their properties, between Second and Front streets, for easy access to the wharfs of the Delaware River. 


This autumn day, the alley was dotted by little knots of tourists pausing, in front of this doorway or that window. The brightly painted doors and windows, bouquets on windowsills, flags fluttering above the awnings, the warm sun emerging from behind the clouds washing the  brick and stone paved alley and the orange red walls of the houses in a golden glow- Elfreth Alley had a quiet magic.Dolly Ottie, a young woman, opened a sandwich shop at No 128 Elfreth Alley in 1934. Soon she learned that many of the buildings on the street were demolished by the paint factory that owned them at the time.  It was the conservation efforts of the 1930’s spearheaded by Ottie and others that led to the preservation of this little group of buildings, homes first to artesans and then to industrial workers. 




I had gone to Elfreth’s Alley expecting a touristy dip into time, frozen at an artificially imagined moment, separate from the city around. To my pleasant surprise the difference was not as stark as I expected. Many parts of Philadelphia, including West Philly continue to have residences from the 19th and 20th centuries still standing-row houses and modest twin brick buildings with their little porches and front gardens. The interiors of these houses are transformed, quartered and sectioned into modern habitations. My studio apartment is in  Webster Manor in Osage Avenue,  a residence for dental students  built in the 1920s. The illusion of lingering past disappears the moment I step inside my door, into the little white box with its modular kitchen, and thin walls of board. So is Elfreth’s Alley. Life is imotion behind the faces of those houses, transforming their interiors. The exterior remains static. A dilettante of historic architecture would perhaps be  able to point out the slight variations in architectural styles over time, but not I.


What was different at Elfreth Alley was that the occasional external additions and signs of delapidation were absent from these facades.  I walked the street up and down, unhurried, stopping in front of each house, listening to the audio guide I had downloaded earlier. The corner house with its bright red windows and shutters, belonged in the 18th century to Jermiah Elfreth, a blacksmith, turned silversmith, turned developer, from whom the street gets its name. Numbers 124 and 126 were owned by dressmakers Sarah Melton and Mary Smith, who lived and worked there. The little museum currently housed in these two buildings, display the tools of trade and custom made  mantua gowns like the ones the two women might have produced. When houses number 120 and 122 were built by Andrew Edge and Thomas Potts in the 1720’s.After moving in they discovered that they had somehow switched their deeds with each other…These are the kind of stories that Elfreth’s Alley tells- nothing dramatic, ordinary lives, neighbourhood tales. They contrast with the grand narratives told at  the Liberty Bell or the Independence Hall, just a few blocks away, teeming with tourists,  celebrating the nation. In comparison, my leisurely stroll through this narrow lane  made more sense in Philadelphia. 



With autumn reds and yellows, complementing Philly’s brick exteriors, and animating the gray side walks, the  last of the warm sun peeping through the still standing leaves, these few days are my final chance to know a city that I have already come to like. Philadelphia, despite being one of the unsafest cities I have lived in, has grown on me. I love how it has sustained its early layout of streets in grids, allowing me to wander yet not be lost; allowing the city to contain its growth and maintain its green squares. I have become habituated to the silent elation I feel at the moment Trolley no. 34 that I boarded  from one of the dingy, underground stations in the central city that  smells of cannabis, despair and fear, emerges out of the tunnel into sunlight, warmth and green of the 40th street trolley Portal. Like every home in a foreign city, my refurbished studio in Webster manor, a few steps from the trolley stop, is dear to me; mostly because I set them up to leave them behind. Unlike the facades of Elfreth street that store memories from centuries before, these one room homes hold on to my memory fleetingly,  only till the next resident arrives. It is almost as if I was never there. 



18 October 2023

Vignettes

I

 Tucked away, in a peaceful treelined neighbourhood, South East of the city, Philadelphia's Magic Gardens has a compact charm. Artist Isaiah Zagar converted the vacant lot near his studio into mosaic with found objects- mirror sherds, tiles, bottles, and bicycle wheels. The result is an and immersive builtscape of stairways, walls, and grottos, of colours and broken, infinite reflections. It contains more than it can hold and explodes on you as magical spaces are wont to do. Zagar began his work on the lot from found objects in 1991. In 2004, the owner of lot,for sure a Muggle, got wind of the happenings and decided to dismantle the installation. Following opposition from the community, the plan had to be abandoned and the site was opened to the public in 2008.

17 April 2022

Notes of the Hesitant Explorer - A Heartful of Turkey


When it comes to new places and people I am timid. I hesitate in front of door steps and open my mouth a moment too late.  Exploring University City this one week has not been easy, and I beat myself up many times. There have been good moments too.  I have stopped mid-walk by the curb to see the breeze shake out and wildly scatter the cherry blossoms into the air. I have lazed on the park benches by Locust Walk, where the 19th century- Hogwarts- like edifices intersperse with the more recent block structures, thinking of magic among other things. On sunny days of blue sky, such as yesterday, when the resident bushy-tailed, black squirrel of the cherry tree outside my AirBNB window frolics and bounces up the branches, I think of timidity differently. For someone like me, every little thing brings the thrill of adventure- I just need to talk to one stranger, I just need to turn the doorknob and step over the threshold. 


The AirBNB on Hamilton Street,  I have rented out till the end of the month, is in a quiet tree lined neighbourhood, a fifteen-minute walk from the university centre. The street has single and two storeyed structures in gray and red with charming little gardens. The house next to mine, painted blue and white, stands out as a little surprise. Yesterday, on my way back,  I locked eyes with a jet black cat who owned one of the few houses in disrepair, who eyed me with pure disdain.  Tucked to the corner of 36th on Baring Street is  the Church of St. Andrew and St. Monica, Gothic in style, yet quaint with its gray edifice and bright red door.

On Good Friday, I decided to drop in and see what the church service looked like. My plan was to slip quietly into one of the pews in the back, observe for a while. I turned the knob of the bright red door, anxious about the creaky noise it would make and anticipating the congregation turning around to stare.. and found myself on another corridor (a slight sense of anticlimax there!). The corridor wound up to another wooden door. There was a table outside with bouquets of flowers. I opened the door and stepped in becoming aware at once of  a few things. One, it was a beautiful sanctuary, with vaulted wooden  ceilings, white walls, and lovely stained glass windows all around. Two, it was not a catholic church as I had assumed but what seems to be a small and closely knit congregation of a little less than twenty-five people. A tall man in a light blue shirt and deep voice, and kind eyes came forward, welcomed me and gave me the printed matter of the service. I saw that it was a customized service, tailored around the seven last sentences that Christ spoke on the cross, with speeches, readings and hymns around each. Some of the speakers were joining through zoom, only their voices echoing in the church. The man in the blue shirt came a couple of times to point me to the right part of the program and to offer me the book of hymns. Once he came and asked, “ What would I prefer to have, Ham or Turkey?” “Oh good. Sandwiches for after!”, thought I and opted for turkey. 



Later I found out that I  had come into an Episcopal Church. Back home in Kerala, I have often felt irritated when people mindlessly vocalize monolithic notions of Christianity. There were many who thought ‘Catholicism on-screen’ was what all Christianity was about, failing to acknowledge the diversity of regional faith practices. And here I was, assuming I had walked into a Catholic church, only because I saw the names of two saints on the board outside. So much for my self-righteous rage! Since then I have been doing quite a bit of haphazard reading on the American Revolution, the organization of the church, its struggles and negotiations with the African American community and more recently with gender diversity. One of the speakers, this day, a confident young woman, spoke of the efforts of her cousin to trace her Carribean ancestry through ancestry.com. She spoke on Jesus’s words to Mary “Woman, behold your son” indicating his disciple John to passionately argue why it was not genealogy but love that mattered. Incidentally, Reverend William White, First Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church of the United States, was from Philadelphia and was an  alumnus of College of Philadelphia (Later, University of Pennsylvania). He would have wandered the same campus, with much more spiritual  thoughts than I had, and unburdened by the complexities of using a key card to access the buildings.



After a while, when I started to leave, the man in the blue shirt came again and requested me to wait for a few minutes for him to get the food ready. I was enjoying the hymns, not so much the speeches and after one more song, I rose to leave and he gave me a few pamphlets, spoke a few more kind words and handed me a large plastic bag. I walked to my apartment, pondering the weight of my sandwich. “What is in there? Maybe bread and fruits too?” I opened the package on my kitchen counter and there sitting in front of me was a whole turkey! There were ten frantic minutes when I searched for ways to cook a whole turkey in an AirBNB, and another ten minutes of wisdom, when I realized I would never be able to eat it even if the turkey magically did cook itself. Then I remembered that the kind man had also told me about the Food Cupboard where they gave out free food on Saturdays. I seemed to have stolen a whole turkey that was meant for charity! Not a very Christian thing to do on a Good Friday. So, I lugged back my turkey to the church, explained to the man in the blue shirt why I cannot accept it and was hugely relieved when he appreciated my action. There is so much that a word of kindness and warmth can do for you in a strange city. A whole turkey on your kitchen counter can add a little something more to that.  I was stupidly happy that  whole day. 


So for Easter, I plan to go to a Catholic Church, the St. Agatha and St. James Church. I should go for the ham this time, shall I? 


















19 December 2016

...


All I would steal from you is a kiss
Not the night, nor a part of it
Not furtive embraces under the quilt
Definitely not love, nor its pretense

I am flighty
I cannot hold on to anything
Longer than a kiss

I am whimsical
I could cry when you hold me
And laugh when you touch

I am nobody's sweetheart
I am in the gray zone
I linger at the edges of your dreams
Yet I can gaze at the sky
And hide the stars in my eyes
And with a kiss I could
Soak you deep under my skin.

12 December 2016


Who teaches us to love like this
As if caught in a silent storm
To flutter and fall; To rise and drown
To be swept along; To lose all hold
I break open at your shore; I shatter


And hurt descends like a many clawed thing
Its dull leaden weight upon my chest
Like a bird of prey; her wings are shadows
Swiftly she alights; And darkness settles


I huddle beneath the open sky
I shiver under my many blankets
The storm has passed
The morning's gray
The sun is but a yellow smudge
The perennial winter has come to stay

15 September 2015

The Revolution is Frozen: Part 1

On my first day in China Appa asked me in jest over phone “So, have you seen Communism yet?”In little more than two weeks I have fallen in love with the China I have seen for more than one reason. Yifan, friend and my amazing travelling companion for these days, has often let me sidestep the touristic gaze and look beyond what is apparent.

Day 1 in Beijing, we accidently strolled in through the gates of the imperial library from the Ming Dynasty.(I am almost sure it is the Ming Dynasty. Trained historian that I am, I have managed to muddle up most of the facts and figures on the signboards that Yifan painstakingly translated for me).We had started out towards the Tiananmen Square and realized too late that the Square was cordoned off. The nation was celebrating the 75th year of its victory against the Japanese forces. Simultaneously, the city was hosting the IAAF World Athletics Championship. It meant long vacations and a clear blue sky. Blue sky, I hear is a rare sight in Beijing. But the factory emissions around the city were slashed by 30% in view of the Athletic meet. Thanks to that my memories of Beijing are all set against an azul backdrop to which the shades of the evening and the night would gracefully seep in.

25 September 2014


In love, I want to be like a vessel seized by storm

Moorings lost and sails cut loose.

Passion, the salty taste that clings on to each grain.

To be tossed high up and back into the tide's arm

Weightless, yet, drenched deep.

11 July 2014

Silence


Silence
Like a thin cling film
wrapped over the heart
Stretching painfully with
each beat, desperate

16 May 2014

16/05/2014


The darkest hour
       Fear
       Such as never known before
       Seeping into the veins
       Gaseous; poison blue
       The silent suffocation

07 May 2014

...

I remember a memory that was yours

A pencil drawn sketch from your everyday
Upon a notebook sheet we flipped through

A monochrome stich in the tapestry
Of long-winding talks woven into the nights

And that is where I remember you now
Inside a memory
Tossed over to me

11 December 2013

On Making Love


If it pleases Your Highness
Please have a seat!
We were about to start but
Thought should wait thee
We have read the law books
And have memorized the lines
For foreplay we recited them
To each other twice
Yet being mere citizenry
We are bound to err
Love, (Pardon me!
I said it out loud)
Advises our counsel
Is still running loose
Shall we budge up a little
Are we blocking thy gaze?
Oh,yes..We plead guilty
If  ever to passion we deviate

01 December 2013


Have I ever told you ? ;
That, when I shake off the sleep from my eyes,
I wish you would hold me and lull me back to dreams.
That, I thought to tell you how the rain fell on my face
As I left the shade of a sole tree on the slope.
That, how it is that I want you to know
I curl up in my bed just as you do.
That ecstasy is a bicycle ride
with the night in your hair and stars in your eyes.
That we were on a path that briefly met
And I abandoned it for a hike up the hills.

16 April 2013


She cannot anchor where her heart belongs
Her love catches the wind like sails
Can never steer clear off the storm
She rips open on jagged rock edges
And among the sea weeds she is entangled
White crystals of salt settle on her scalp
As the ocean breeze tousles
Her gray and black curls..

12 April 2013

The Tezpur Pin-Up: Kaziranga

“It will be just like Kerala”, is what quite a few of my friends told me before I started for Assam. During the next few days, peering out of the train window, riding on Jeetender’s auto and strolling around the university campus and the roads of Tezpur town with Anju, I would be reminded of this statement time and again. The vegetation was the same shade of deep green, complete with the same wayside bushes with their little yellow and violet blooms. Leaning on to the bamboo fences of their village homes, middle aged women chatted with each others, One end of the top piece of their off- white attire  tucked around the waist and the other thrown over their right shoulders in a similarly careless manner. The bulky brown sacks piled inside the roadside shops of Tezpur, emanated the known ration shop smell. It was a familiarity that was at once exhilarating and slightly disturbing. For what the sights evoked was not simple recognition, but a faint nostalgia mixed with images from disparate sepia frames of old Malayalam movies.

28 March 2013

The Tezpur Pin- up

There once lived a young woman in possession of varied powers and an immense strength of character by the name Chitralekha. Her powers were paralleled only by her commitment for her friend Usha, daughter of the daitya king Bana. And as stories go Usha fell hopelessly in love with Aniruddha, grandson of Lord Krishna, who appeared to her in a dream. Chitralekha then undertook the long and arduous journey to the yadava kingdom, abducted Aniruddha and carried him in her arms all the way back to her friend. Then there was the inevitable war where the titans- Lord Siva, in aid of his devotee Bana and Lord Krishna, the Vishnu incarnate- clashed. Myth is that blood soaked into the battlefield and coloured its soil red and the town came to be known as Tezpur (City of Blood).

26 February 2012

Ghost of smiles

Of love and other demons
Of a gray long - winding road
Of whispers in the night
Of the ghost of smiles
growing less opaque with days
Of longing and hatred
Of sharp fingernails drawing lines
a little too deep as if to hurt
Of jealousy that clenches
tight upon the chest.
Of a thickly spun web of tales
and to be trapped by its sticky threads
Seduced, Repulsed, Enamoured.

16 February 2012

The Nation Across

Before stepping into the aircraft, I looked back at Sree who was just behind me in the queue. In unison we gave a loud unearthly whoop and laughed gleefully. For the past few hours in irregular intervals we have been doing the same (to the general entertainment of our co-travelers) and we will continue to all along the weekend. We were on our way to Kathmandu and could hardly believe it to be true.

It was a long awaited break. For Sree, from a hectic and tiring schedule and for me, from a long overdrawn spell of general lethargy. Yet the plans were made in less than two days. We found the tickets to be affordable, our schedules to be matching- a weekend that could be folded and packed neat and light into our backpacks with much room to spare for all the excitement.

Less than 500 nautical miles away from Delhi, Kathmandu hardly feels like a nation apart. But rarely are boundaries determined by distance. Rather it is the little white immigration form, the step over the yellow line, the scanning eyes of the official at the counter and the suspicious ‘departed’ stamp in his right hand that draw the line for you.

24 December 2011

The Bicycle Thieves: Part II

One of my friends and compatriots bought a relatively new bicycle, paying through his nose, soon after he reached Ferrara. He would ride up to the bus stop, leave the bike there and board the 9 O’ clock bus to work. Three days into the new routine he came back in the evening and his bike was nowhere to be seen. The next morning, it reappeared in the same parking lot, secure in a brand new lock.

As luck had it, that day he picked up a conversation with the bus driver in faltering Italian and English. “Are you sure it is your bike?” he asked, “wait for me in the evening, we will find a way.” So as the evening grew dark, the duo returned to the spot where the bicycle was. "Perhaps he will help me explain the problem to the police”, thought my friend. Even before the thought was over the bus driver, with the skill of a seasoned thief, had broken the lock and the bicycle was returned to its rightful owner.

27 November 2011

The Bicycle Thieves: Part 1

It is approaching mid- day. The stream of morning commuters at the Ferrara railway station has thinned into a trickle. Each morning a huge chunk of the population of this medieval town ride in to the station and board the trains that would take them to the nearby cities like Bologna and Padova for work. Secured to the rows of semicircular iron bars, over a hundred bicycles that brought them in from the centre and periphery of the town wait, to take them back home in the evening.

Among the small groups of people idling on the steps of the railway station and waiting at the bus stop are a young man and woman- leaning casually on a lamp post and chatting. As it is always with strangers in a space, eyes meet briefly and shift again never really taking in the faces, never really seeing. Then, at one moment with no gaze upon them, the couple, in one fluid motion, breaks the chain of a brand new bicycle parked near them and ride swiftly away.

09 October 2011

The Kaleidoscope

It has been a month and a half since I flew out of Europe. My residence permit expires tomorrow. Perhaps I will never go back again. I thought when I returned that I had a bundle of stories to narrate. But I now realize that my bundle had been tied carelessly. I cannot find half of my stories; my anecdotes are neither with tails nor heads. Cities become stretches of streets and colours that run into each other and cannot be told apart. I wish in vain that I had paid more attention, had watched the fading murals on the church walls more closely; had lingered a bit longer in front of the street musician so that his music would be with me when I walk in a different city with different rhythms. I wish I had swirled the wine in my mouth for a minute more so its taste would have soaked into me and lingered. Yet there are bits and pieces that I have saved.